It has been three years since I rejoined the adult workforce. I was a stay-at-home mom for about six years. My oldest is now 8 and my youngest is 5 1/2. Their dad and I divorced about 3 years ago and are both now remarried (to other people). I have another little girl on the way and am both excited and overwhelmed by the chance to have another little baby. I also have two step-sons who are 7 years old twins and who have autism. I am happy with my new life and adore my husband, so I don't want this post to sound negative. It has been quite a while since I have written so I'm rusty. Mostly due to the adjustment of all the extreme changes I have been through. I used to blog from 12-2am... but now I am good if I can stay awake past 9pm. By then I'm usually drooling on myself and non-verbal, so it's not the best time to be blogging. Anywhoo... rusty.
So what has dragged me back to my computer on my day off? Last night, in the process of settling in (pre-drool) I observed in passing, the Golden Globes. I was shockingly unfamiliar with most of the people, the movies and shows. The people I was actually familiar with all looked older. I was confused. Then the category for best animated film came on, and I realized what has happened to me. I knew every single movie and had only NOT seen one of them, only because my girls didn't want to see it. Yes, I have been been living in an animated cave for eight years. Hmmm, I said, "I used to be the queen of pop-trivia." I was unstoppable in a trivia-game. Well, it seems I have stopped for at least eight and a half years. Wow, that's almost a decade!
When Noelle, my oldest was a baby, we started only watching the Disney channel, Nick Jr., and kids movies. I couldn't bear to watch the news anyway because I was a freaked out first-time mom. It was so scary. I have always been sensitive, but after she was born, I feared every bad thing in this world would snatch her away from me. The world was the monster and I started to hide from it. Then, little baby Jolie came along which led to five more years sentenced to the animated hole.
Every time I would attempt to watch something fairly normal, like Wheel of Fortune, a horrific paranormal movie advertisement would come on during the commercials and the monster would crawl into my living room! UGH! And what is up with all the male enhancement and female orgasm "Increase her pleasure" advertisements during regular television. Sex, evil, and prescriptions... all interrupting the peace of puzzle. Every time I would venture out of this cocoon of children's programming, I would be assaulted. Retreat! Retreat! I was so afraid the girls would staple these images in their minds by observation that I boycotted all but five or so channels (all on cable). So I remained happily in the safety of the hole.
But lately, I feel a little bit of the monster creeping. Noelle has started to like older kids shows. I know there isn't a fan over ten years old of iCarly out there. It was once OK (not great), but OK. Lately though, it seems Noelle's innocence is being stolen episode by episode. Not to mention that my five year old wants to see and do everything that her older sister does, so the erosion hastens in her poor little brain. I am so sick of seeing kissing I could spew. Yes, I used the word spew. And do you know what happens after the KISSING???? The TEEN shows! RETREAT! RETREAT!
While our house is the control base of their lives, they are so overexposed to these things that the monster doesn't just creep around out there in the world, he walks upright and hands out information pamphlets. I think the title of his brochures are "How I am going to steal your child's innocence without you even noticing." Oh, I thought I was doing OK. I thought it was safe... but OH NO! Its ugly out here. OH BABY! Every prominent youth in the media is so sexualized. I let Jolie sing a Justin Bieber on YouTube once, and now he has been pegged in an teen pregnancy scandal. I bought Noelle a Miley Cirus outfit. I'M SUCH A FOOL! And did I mention that my child wanted to listen to KE$HA! I was mortified. I have done my best to steer clear of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. But, these are the people their friends are listening to. These are the people some of MY Friends are listening to! Where is the line of innocence drawn? It seems it disappeared with the achievement of potty training.